OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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