i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
