Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
