that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When did angry sex become our thing?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
