I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
