is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
