The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
