I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
