yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
