apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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