I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
