we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
