the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
