Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
