HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
