how can u be prego again
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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