So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
