Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
