and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
