this beer tastes like vomit already
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
