So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
