I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
