I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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