Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
