you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
