That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
