This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
