i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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