is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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