so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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