We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
