i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
