My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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