She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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