Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
