hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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