so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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