You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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