i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
