I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
