All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
