dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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