if only i could text you this smell
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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