Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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