Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
