I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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