That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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