If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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