So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
