thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
