i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
