I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
